'Machete' review: Danny Trejo, Lindsay Lohan try to make Robert Rodriguez's imitation B-movie pop

Anyone with a soft spot for cheesy '70s actioners had to love the fake trailers included in "Grindhouse," the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez tongue-in-cheek double feature from three years ago. One, "Machete," seemed to have the makings of a real movie. So now we have a full-length "Machete" movie, and it turns out that, as usual, less is more.

This feature-length exploito-rific action-drama follows Machete (Danny Trejo), a tough Mexican federale whose family is slaughtered by an evil crime boss (a bloated Steven Seagal). Years later, Machete - his nickname comes from the giant blade he carries with him - is eking out an existence as an itinerant worker in Texas. An oily businessman (Jeff Fahey) in cahoots with a racist politician (Robert De Niro) hires Machete to be the patsy in an assassination attempt, but naturally, they're messing with the wrong man.

Meanwhile, Machete's friendship with a sexy federal agent (Jessica Alba) brings him into contact with a fiery female revolutionary (Michelle Rodriguez) working to form a movement to battle the politician's anti-illegal-immigrant stance. Then there's the businessman's daughter, a drugged-up mess played by Lindsay Lohan, who may or may not have read the script before her brief topless scene. However, for those eager to see LiLo in a nun's outfit blowing bad guys away, this is your movie.

It's a movie filled with girls, guns, splattering blood and cheesy dialogue, which would be great if it was as fun as the flicks it's aping.
Rodriguez, co-directing with Ethan Maniquis - an editor on some of Rodriquez's earlier films (including "Desperado," "From Dusk Till Dawn" and "Sin City") - wants "Machete" to be both a present-day thriller and a loopy throwback. But the retro shoutouts feel like add-ons. The best examples of wit are film-stock scratches and glitches that occur right at the moment a head or hand gets sliced off.

As for those whose heads stay on - at least for a while - Alba continues her evolution toward full-time tough chick, while Rodriguez, who's been there a while, wears an eyepatch and machine gun beautifully. De Niro does a mean Lyndon Johnson imitation, though Seagal, wearing Eddie Munster's hair, never rises above parody.

Trejo, an ex-con and ex-boxer with a face as craggy as Monument Valley, can certainly hold the plot together as an anti-hero. But pushing this real deal to "act" in the B-movie style of Bronson, Svenson or Roundtree is, frankly, cutting the ground out from under him.

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Movie Goers Remember Tulsa's Admiral Twin Drive-In

Many lifelong memories have been made at Tulsa's historic Admiral Twin drive-in since it opened in 1951 as the Modern Aire. First dates, holiday celebrations, a way to show off a brand new car and much more took place at the landmark to leisure.

It became the Admiral Twin in 1952 when a second screen was added, and Oklahomans remember both the movies - and the fun - they had as the movies played.

Who can forget pulling the metal speakers into the windows of the car? Or walking through the rows of vehicles to get popcorn from the concession stand?

Whether you skipped the admission cost by hiding in the car trunk or paid admission at the gate, the Admiral Twin was a part of many lives.

Here are a few memories NewsOn6.com users have shared with us:

Tim Carroll: I remember seeing the complete "Planet Of The Apes" series there. Funny, every time I went it seems I was with my sister , she let me tag along on her dates. I'm sure her dates were thrilled.

Tulsan: "It's five days older than me. I snuck in from every place there was a place.
Watched Annette Funicello and Elvis Presley from the seats in front of the concession."

Kara said: "I've seen so many (movies) there I can't even remember them all to list. It was always so much fun, and it breaks my heart to see this. I had assumed this would be someplace I could take my kids to in the future."

Karen: "Back in the 60s, it was so much fun playing on the swings up front and then running to our cars when the movie started. The swings were gone when I took my kids there, but it was still a magical place for them. Probably, wishful thinking but, I hope they rebuild it."

9/3/2010 Related Story: Fire Destroys Screens At Tulsa's Admiral Twin Drive-In

Lisa Hensy Hughes: "I can remember my folks taking us kids (5 or 6 of the 8 of us at that time) in the station wagon with the back seats down. We wore our pj's and had blankets and pillows. Mama made a giant bowl of popcorn and brought kool-aid to drink. After the cartoon was over, we had to lay down and sleep so Mama and Daddy could enjoy their date movie. We will surely miss the Admiral Twin."

Judy Pannell Terry: "This is so sad. I feel like a part of my life is gone. Many many fond memories of Admiral Twin Drive In."

Sarah Robinson: "I am so sad! This place has so many memories for my husband and I. It is where we had our first date and where we have spent every Anniversary since than. Good Bye Old Friend, I hope they re-build you better than ever!"

Nancy Henderson: "I'm sitting here...just shattered...I feel like my Dad has died all over again. Just received word that the Admiral Twin Drive-In screen is no more. My Dad was the projectionist on the West Side from the 50's to the late 70's. I grew up there. I saw every show and went there to see the man who ran the show and never had a day off. Dad had COPD because of the fumes from burning the carbon sticks that backlit the film. Dad, I'm glad you missed seeing it burn, I wished I hadn't seen it."

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Movie Review: Machete

Robert Rodriguez is one of those rare filmmakers whose movies -- for better or worse -- always come alive with his sheer enjoyment of making them. In the case of Machete, that's a good thing. Unlike his corny kids' movies (Spy Kids, Shorts), Machete bleeds pure entertainment. Returning to the crank-it-up style Rodriguez brought to his half of the vastly underrated Grindhouse, Machete comes out swinging -- and usually what it's swinging includes an extremely sharp blade.

In fact, "Machete" was first glimpsed as a coming-attractions trailer between the two halves of Grindhouse. With its delicious catch-phrase, "You fucked with the wrong Mexican," it promised over-the-top action and a dizzying cast that ran the gamut from Jessica Alba to Lindsay Lohan, built around character actor Danny Trejo in the title role.

Rodriguez delivers on the promise of that trailer and then some. Indeed, the first 10 minutes of Machete contains more wild action than the climax of most ordinary action films.

No doubt there will be those critics who don't appreciate Rodriguez's gory aesthetic. His style here is pure drive-in exploitation film, circa 1973, right down to the choppy edits. Everything is overstated and takes the action two notches farther than you'd expect. Rodriguez is like a kid with a new toy (or an old favorite), amping things to suit his own pleasure center, perpetually asking the question, "Wouldn't it be cool if ...?"

Like, wouldn't it be cool if Machete, a Mexican federale played by the menacingly scowly Trejo, attacked a drug lord's headquarters, chopped off the hand of a guy with a gun in it, then picked up the gun, and used the severed hand to squeeze the trigger?

Or: wouldn't it be cool if Machete mounted a pair of gatling guns on a motorcycle, then flew it off a ramp, shooting bad guys as he soared through the air?

Or ... well, put it this way: If Rodriguez could think of it, he has included it in this film.

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Hollywood's 3-D Movies Drive Sales As Fans Resist Prices

Hollywood’s focus on big-budget films and 3-D effects that command higher ticket prices will likely drive box-office sales to a record $11 billion this year even as some fans shun the rising cost of a night at the movies.

A surcharge for 3-D movies may push revenue past last year’s $10.6 billion, Paul Dergarabedian, president of Hollywood.com Box-Office, said in an interview.

Studios and theater owners are looking to holiday-season releases like Time Warner Inc.’s “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I” and Walt Disney Co.’s “Tron” to reverse declining attendance, Dergarabedian said. Attendance is down 1.5 percent this year, while revenue is up 4.1 percent to $7.53 million, according to Hollywood.com.

“We could be looking at the first $11 billion year,” Dergarabedian said. “That doesn’t mean attendance will be up. Maybe the holiday season will be the savior.”

Revenue for the summer season, from the first weekend in May through the U.S. Labor Day holiday, is forecast to reach a record $4.35 billion, Hollywood.com said yesterday. Attendance will drop to 552 million tickets sold, the fewest since 540.3 million were purchased in 1997. Theaters charge an extra $3 or more for three-dimensional films.

‘Paranormal Activity’

Studios released seven sequels this summer, fewer than the 10 that came out in 2009, Hollywood.com said. This year, 13 films generated more than $100 million each, down from 15 last year.

“The movies just didn’t excite people the way they needed to,” Dergarabedian said. “When you raise prices and perceive that quality goes down, you have a major problem.”

There have also been fewer surprise hits this year to compare with 2009 releases such as “Paranormal Activity,” the horror film that generated $107.9 million in U.S. ticket sales for Paramount Pictures on production costs of $15,000, Dergarabedian said.

In 2009, studios saw revenue jump 10 percent and attendance rose 5.4 percent as fans turned out for movies including “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” “Transformers” was the calendar year’s biggest film with $402 million, and “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” was second with $302 million, according to Box Office Mojo.

The top-grossing film this year is “Avatar,” from News Corp.’s Fox, with $466 million in ticket sales. The movie, from director James Cameron, is the highest-grossing film of all time and has taken in $753.8 million in the U.S. since Dec. 18.

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Movie review - Bogged down in Tales from Earthsea

There's a whole lot going on in the Japanese anime fantasy "Tales From Earthsea," so why is it such a bore? It could be because this 2006 production from famed Studio Ghibli ("Princess Mononoke," the Oscar-winning "Spirited Away"), while covering dungeons and dragons, wizards, witches and the quest for eternal life, is so stiff and humorless it rarely if ever engages its audience.

And, really, who is its audience? Although being released by family-friendly Disney, "Earthsea," directed and co-written by Goro Miyazaki (son of Ghibli co-founder and veteran filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki) and based on a series of books by Ursula K.

Le Guin, touches on such grave topics as patricide, child abuse and slavery. It also features deaths by strangulation and immolation as well as a nasty bit with a flying severed limb. Kids may be less put off by all that, though, than by the film's uninspired hand-drawn animation, visual flatness and elongated running time.

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For Disney, Magic Comes From Movies

The April to June period included a sizable chunk of monster box-office take for "Alice in Wonderland" and, thanks to an early home-video release, the first month of DVD and Blu-ray sales.

On top of that, "Toy Story 3" took in $258 million domestically in June and went on to become the Pixar unit's second biggest-grossing title ever, behind "Finding Nemo."

"Iron Man 2," released in May, represented another big win for Disney, which bought the studio behind the superhero sequel, Marvel Entertainment, at the end of last year. Though the film was distributed by rival Paramount Pictures, a unit of Viacom Inc., that studio collected just an 8% distribution fee, after recouping expenses.

That means a big chunk of the film's $621 million world-wide box-office gross flowed directly into Mouse House coffers, adding relative strength to the results.Disney's toy and apparel division got a nice boost from Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls, thanks to "Toy Story."

Though Disney Consumer Products also now has the North American merchandising rights to "Iron Man" and other Marvel franchises, it's unclear whether that will translate to Disney's bottom line this quarter, since the toys were largely designed and manufactured before the December takeover of Marvel.

Meanwhile, at its theme parks, Disney has been gradually dialing back the discounts they used to maintain attendance levels through the economic downturn. That could boost revenue per customer, though given the hit it likely delivered to attendance levels, the effects on revenue and income remain to be seen.

Disney is sticking to its guns on pricing. Last week, the company announced increases in admission prices at its theme parks, something it does some time in midsummer most years. For instance, at Disney World, the cost of a single-day admission ticket will go up 8.9% for children and 3.9% for adults. In 2009, when prices went up about 5%.

The company's television results will reflect some marquee sporting events: The quarter included the NBA finals and the World Cup. Though the soccer tournament drew big audiences, it will be interesting to see how much real benefit it conferred to Disney's ESPN and ABC, since the game doesn't build in TV ad breaks the way baseball, basketball and football-American football, that is-do.

A gradual recovery in advertising sales, which got going in the first three months of this year, continued through the spring, likely benefiting Disney's cable and broadcast networks. Disney's splashiest recent deals—its $563 million acquisition of online game company Playdom and its planned $660 million sale of Miramax Films—didn't happen during the April-June quarter.

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